Four letters one possible goodbye
by OncerSwarekJateHudsonGscout22
Summary: this takes place  in season 4 when Charlie is fighting cancer. He knows he might die so he writes a letter for each of his sibling. I don’t own party of five.
1. Bailey

**A letter, means the world**

**Summary: ****this takes place when Charlie is fighting cancer. He knows he might die so he writes a letter for each of his sibling. I don't own party of five.**

He sat on his hospital bed his breathing was heavy and tears were coming down his eyes this was it, he was going to die and didn't have the courage to, the doctors had told him that if his cancer didn't enter in remission within the next few days his death was sure. While sitting there he remembered his sibling's faces and finally came down to a conclusion: he might not see them again

So he took the notebook and pen that rested in front of him and started writing:

Meanwhile

"Why is the doctor taking so long!" Julia screamed next to his brother

"Calm down Jules" Bailey told her "your not helping"

"How come you are like this?!" his sister argued

"Like what?" Bailey asked quietly

"Charlie might die and you're calm!" Julia cried

"Because I promised him I would" he looked around to Claudia and then Owen and finally her "for you guys"

Julia just turned

Back at his room Charlie Salinger didn't know what to write so he closed his eyes and counted to five "1…2…3…4…5" then picked up the pen and started:

**First letter: an encouragement (for Bailey)**

_Dear Bailey:_

_Crap I suck at writing, anyway I just want you to know that I love you and I'm so proud of you Bay, you have no idea how I feel right now: I feel scared that I might die, and not just because of that I'm scared of you guys, I don't know what's going to happen to you kids if I die. But I have a backup; and that's you baby brother you are my backup: I know that if something actually happens you will be there for the girls and for Owen (god Owen is getting so big) but enough of it. I'm writing this for you, to tell you that no matter what are differences were I always considered you wiser than me; I'm a trouble maker or at least I was before I found out I had cancer; I also wanted you to know what my opinion in your relationship with Sarah is: I think she is a great girl and you deserve her (Okay Charlie concentrate is his life not yours) anyways I love you Bay never forget that okay? Please I know must of time I'm a pain in the ass but I'm your big brother and that's what we do. Just remember that I love you and I look up to you Bay. _

_Love Charlie _

When he had finish he folded the letter and wrote "Bailey" at the back

He thought that the fact of writing _love Charlie_ was not manly at all but he didn't care and he was sure Bailey wouldn't either


	2. Julia

_**Four letters one possible goodbye**_

_**Note: **_**sorry if I was late updating!! So any way here it is:**

Charlie sat again and closed his eyes. His head ached, this couldn't be a good sign, and so he picked up the pen again and wrote:

_Dear Julia:_

_I'm writing this to tell you and ask you not to worry about me. I know you want to cry and scream until you can't no more, I would too if I was sitting outside and one of you guys were in this bed,, but I know that things will get better, and If I'm gone I know that you will take care of them, specially Owen and Claudia( don't think I haven't seen them with you), you are such a great woman Jules and you will make a great mom one day, seriously kids will love you as much as Owen or Claudia do. So I'm asking you not to give up on that, on your life because if you do I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for taking that away from you. So anyway I want to tell you that I love you and I'm dam proud of you, you turned out to be just like mom; such a caring, loving person and I'm telling you never to loose those qualities because that's what makes you who you are, Julia they do. So from the bottom of my heart I say "see you later" or "catch up with you later" because even if I die I know I will see you one day._

_Ps: when something is really messed up and you want to talk to me I'm always going to be there no matter what_

_Love your big brother Charlie _


	3. Claudia

**Four letters one possible goodbye**

Claudia was sitting next to his younger brother, who she knew didn't really understood what was going on, he did know that Charlie was sick, but for a four year old it was hard and sometimes impossible to imagine what was wrong with his brother.

Charlie sat on his bed with the two letters folded next to him, he had written each of the names at the back and was now resting a little when suddenly a nurse came in

"Hey Charlie how you feeling today?" she asked kindly

"Fine, I guess…considering I might die" he said with a half smile

"Oh, come on now…" she said with a soft smile

"No, really the doctors said that I might" he said and laid back

"Well doctors aren't always right" she tried to cheer him up

"No I guess not"

"I'll come and check on you in a while ok?" the nurse said and walked away

He sat again and smiled then he picked up the pen and wrote:

_Dear Claudia:_

_Now it's time for your letter, but I really don't know what to say, I guess I never pictured myself as a role model to you as you wanted me to. I mean that whole dating your teacher thing and I breaking up with Kirsten about a hundred times weren't exactly pretty. But I do want you to know that you are a role model to me, you have so much strength, so much love to give others and you are like the glue that kept us together all this time, anyway I think I might not be there for your sixteen birthday, and I know I promised you that we would dance, but I don't know that god has for me right now so if I don't make it, dance with Bailey and pretend is me or not, I don't really know, but anyway I'm a little tired, and right now I need to sleep, but before I do, I want you to know that I love you and I'm so proud of you and you really are a role model to me and you will always be, and plus you have that stubbornness of yours that was the one that make always be a little scared of you (but in a good way). I have to go now but remember that I love you and I want the best for you and I'm so proud of the girl you are now. _

_Ps: I have always considered you more mature than me, so if something actually happens I want you to tell Bay and Julia to give Owen his letter when he is old enough to understand _

_Love, your brother Charlie _


	4. Owen

**Four letters one possible goodbye**

**Summary: ****now only omen's letter is left what Charlie write? Read to find out **

**Note: I don't know how to tell you this but maybe I will retire from writing fanfic or maybe not I don't know (well I hope not but my stories are not doing so well, so maybe I'm not that good or maybe my stories are not as interesting as I thought they were) so anyway here is the last chapter**:

They just sat there the four youngest of the Salinger gang were just waiting and waiting…

"Claud?" Owen asked softly next to her

"What?" Claudia said surprised Owen had hardly spoken all day. Actually he hadn't spoken much since Charlie had gotten sick

"I'm hungry" his four year old brother said; Bailey and Julia turned around to face him

"What now?" Claudia asked his older siblings

"I'll take him" Julia offered, but Bailey stopped her

"No, you girls stay here and Owen and I will go to the cafeteria" he said

Julia nodded while she watched them walk away

As they walked trough the halls, Owen stayed quiet admiring all around him, but Bailey was really worried, he had lost too much already: his parents, Jill and now Charlie, this was too much to deal with; even though he knew that his relationship with his brother wasn't perfect he really couldn't picture himself without Charlie, more importantly he couldn't picture Claudia or Owen without him. After a long silence he heard Owen talking to him

"Bailey!" he felt his hand being pulled

"What!" he said sharply and Owen let go of his hand

"Sorry bud" his brother apologized

"We are here…I think" Owen said potting to a sing that had a spoon and a cup of coffee and read "cafeteria" on the top

"Right let's go" he said and they entered the room, after minutes of looking they finally found an empty table and sat down

"So what do you want?" Bailey asked softly going trough the menu

"Dunno" his brother said and Bay looked as his watch; it read: 8:30 pm

"Well it's time for dinner so what about if I bring you a sandwich and pick something for the girls?"

"I want sausage sandwich like the one Charlie makes me" Owen said innocently

Bailey smiled softly "well I don't think they have that one, but I'll see what I can find, stay here" he said firmly-. Owen nodded

Bailey stood up I went towards the counter, Owen just watched quietly, when Bay came back, he had a cheese burger, some chips and sodas and a club sandwich for Owen.

"let's go" he said and his little brother got up and followed him, when they reached the girls they were talking about something, once the food was given, Bailey spoke up "what were you guys talking about?"

"nothing" Claudia said simply

"come on you can tell me…" Bailey encouraged them

"no, actually we can't, not here at least" Julia said nodding towards Owen

"oh" Bailey muttered and went back to his burger

after an hour or so, Owen was finally sleep, so he asked them again

"we were talking about what Owen would feel like if something actually happens" Julia said sadly

"well, he doesn't really understand what's going on" Bailey said with a low laugh, but Claudia cut in:

"of course, he does maybe not directly but, he does"

"Claudia is right" Julia said with a rough look

_Meanwhile…_

Charlie had just woken up from, he looked around to see a note and some flowers next to his bed, he sat up on the bed and reached for the note:

_Charlie, I came by earlier, but they told me you were sleep. So I didn't want to wake you up_

_Kirsten _

He smiled to himself, he couldn't believe she had come so see him, suddenly his head hurt again and he remembered he hadn't written a letter for Owen, so he breathed deep picked up the pen and the paper and started:

_Dear Owen:_

_It's me your big brother I hope you are big and doing okay. If you are reading this I'm probably not with you anymore, but maybe I am and we are just laughing about this letter._

_Anyhow I don't even know were to start with you, I mean with the others I had a longer history but you, well I practically know everything about you since I'm the one who has been raising you, since the night they died. Of course I always have help with you from Bay and the girls but the truth is I don't think they feel the same towards you as I do (or they might, who knows) I really feel that I'm more a father than a brother to you, I guess I had always felt that way towards you and probably towards Claudia too. But more to you I feel like a better person since I had to take care of you the night of the crash. You have really changed my messed up life to a better prospect, a better man. I also want you to know that you are my hero little guy, you really are. You are an inspiration for me and I just hope you stay like that because I'm proud of you, so proud you can't even imagine. So anyway that's what I wanted to say._

_Ps: tell Claudia to watch "The lion king" with you and cover your eyes when you are scared, also tell Bailey to make your favorite sausage sandwich and finally tell Julia that whenever she needs someone who will listen. You will, at least it worked with me. Last but more important: I love you so much man and I feel lucky for the great honor and good and bad times I had raising you. You will always be my hero. Please don't forget me. _

_Your #1 fan Charlie _

He placed the pen down and felt a tears on his eyes, he finally wrote "OWEN" on the back and went back to his dreams

**Note: I know the ending sucked but anyway. I really need to know what you think, should I continue writing? Please tell me!! **


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